Narcissists are the masters of manipulation—from appearing bold and confident to getting accommodated and attracting people with their charm. Hence, winning a child custody battle against a narcissist is difficult.
So, if you are in a situation like battling a child custody case against a narcissist, this blog is for you. In the following discussion, we will discuss the deposition questions for narcissists during a custody battle and other relevant topics you should know.
But first, let’s find out who is a narcissist and how to recognize them:
What is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is not someone who loves admiring the mirror or posts selfies on social media. They are beyond that, someone who couldn’t think of anything other than themselves. Everything is so self-centered around them that they can’t think of anything else. That is, they lack considerable empathy and have a delusional view of their value.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) tend to have an overinflated sense of their importance, considering their surroundings. In other words, they are labeled to be suffering from a Narcissistic Personality Disorder where the entire world revolves around them and their wishes.
Behind showing such ultra confidence outside, they have super delicate self-esteem, which is highly prone and gets triggered to the slightest amount of criticism. So they can’t take any criticism against them and don’t even bother to think whether it is for their good or not.
16 Common Traits of a Narcissistic Parent
The following are some of the typical signs of a parent having narcissistic personality disorder:
- An overinflated idea of self; it’s always about them
- A feeling of entitlement
- Immature and selfish kind of behavior
- Always keeps bragging about their achievements without acknowledging or showing any sign of happiness for others
- Wants to control everything around them, including their innocent child’s wish and dreams
- Feels superior—looks down on and minimizes others
- Always blames others for any problems as, according to them, they are the perfect human beings in the entire universe.
- Don’t hesitate to resort to unfair means to obtain what they desire
- Preoccupied with delusions of strength, achievement, and genius
- Can’t stand other people’s happiness—feels jealous of others’ achievement
- Makes you feel guilty about not doing a thing that they have once told you to do
- Unwillingness or incapacity to understand other people’s needs and feelings
- Don’t have any time to spend with their children
- Coming up with poor or lame excuses to shorten the family time together
- Shows rapid mood swings and volatile rage without any valid or strong reasons
- Behaves well in front of others while dominating and strict when no one is around
What is Meant by the Deposition Question for Narcissist?
The process by which witnesses testify under oath is called a deposition. They are used to collect evidence before a trial, precisely to ascertain a witness’s knowledge, and record that testimony for use in court in the future.
Typically, depositions occur in a lawyer’s office, with a court reporter keeping a detailed record of everything spoken throughout the deposition. The witness is sworn in and must respond to all of the deposing lawyer’s inquiries. This kind of deposition inquiry tends to differ from case to case.
Let’s give you some examples for better understanding what kind of questions do you ask a narcissist in child custody?
Some of the deposition questions for narcissists during a custody battle include the following:
- Have you ever lied to your spouse regarding any of your conditions that s/he must know about?
- What’s the best trait you used to admire most about my client?
- Did you ever beat them? Have you stopped beating them?
- Was there anything that I skipped but you expected me to ask? What is it that you fear the most, I would ask? We will like to clear up any of your inquiries.
- Did you conduct any of these activities with your child?
- What is your former partner’s shoe size?
- Will you please state your full name for the record?
- Is there any parenting you acknowledge that your partner handles better than you? If so, what are those?
- Is there any information or existing papers supporting your story? We would like to hear that.
- Do you think you have been a good parent to your child till now?
- What is your child’s favorite sports activity/food/leisure time?
- Are you a good provider of your child’s basic necessities?
- How do you spend your leisure time with your child?
Note: These are some of the deposition questions, which may vary from one case to another. After all, every kind of case is unique from one. Let’s see more
What Kind of Questions do You Ask a Narcissist in Child Custody?
When questioning a narcissist during a custody hearing, one should try to phrase the questions in a way that will bring up their narcissistic conduct so the court can see it for itself. Consequently, a lawyer could start by asking some innocent questions such:
- How many kids did you have with your ex-partner/spouse?
- Do you want to continue being connected in their lives?
- What does joint custody mean for each person concerned in this case?
The narcissist might exaggerate and make an impression on others by addressing these questions. So, when your lawyer provides them a chance to express their sincere desire to support their family, they would need to switch to inquiries of a different kind:
- Do you really have no communication with your kids for the past three months?
- Do you also agree that you haven’t made any child support payment in the past six months?
- Have you frequently threatened to take away the family residence before your children?
These inquiries are intended to reveal the narcissist’s actual self to the audience. This can make them angry and provide family law experts a chance to spot a change in personality, demonstrating once again that what someone says doesn’t always correspond with how they genuinely feel or act.
How to Win Child Custody Battle against a Narcissist?
The most charming and friendly person everyone sees is an aggressive, dominating, and aggressive person.
This is something that every spouse who shares their home with a narcissist very well knows and can relate to the most. But unfortunately, because narcissistic parent tries to manipulate and control their kids, they might not even be aware of these traits.
Hence, you could wonder how to demonstrate that a narcissistic parent persuades your kids to support him. You could believe that you will never learn how to win a custody dispute with a narcissist or how to remove children from a narcissistic ex who is still causing problems.
The solution is undoubtedly to make a narcissist publicly visible in court with an experienced lawyer.
Well, don’t worry!
If you are well prepared, you can fight off any narcissistic divorce strategies your former partner may have come up with.
Who could better know than you that narcissists have a difficult time dealing with any criticism? According to them, they can never make any mistakes—one of their most significant characteristics.
As a result, they get super angry and impatient, ultimately leading on to do something that might cost them the entire case.
For instance, your ex will likely inform the judge that he sees his children weekly. He attends all of the little league games, and they go to the park.
But according to your records, your partner hasn’t seen their child in weeks or months or attended a single game.
Your spouse will probably respond adversely when your lawyer asks them more with facts and dates. And this is the kind of reaction you would want the court or other family law specialists to see while questioning their honesty and commitment.
Therefore, the more information your custody lawyer has on your partner, the more equipped they will be to cross-examine and counterattack them in court.
Also Read: Is Spousal Support Taxable in Canada?
Don’t Allow Yourself to Get Intimidated!
If they feel they are starting to lose a battle, that too a crucial one like custody, they will become the most irritated.
Such as, your spouse might want to harm your reputation in court. Don’t respond or make excuses when your spouse makes accusations against you. Instead, stay strong and keep a calm head, irrespective of what they say. The strategy here is not to let yourself be used as a pawn.
Your spouse might attempt to harm your reputation in court. Never address any accusations your spouse might make against you or express regret. No matter what your spouse may say in court, keep your composure.
You would like the judge to consider you a sensible and responsible parent. Your lawyer will uncover the truth. So, be mindful not to show your anger or frustration through your body language or facial emotions.
Key Takeaways About Beating a Narcissist in the Family Court
Always keep these crucial points in mind:
- Keep accurate records of everything, including dates and copies of all forms of interactions.
- Notify your lawyer immediately if anyone sees your partner acting this way.
- Maintain total calmness whenever you and your spouse are in meetings or court appearances.
- Never respond to your spouse’s talks; let your lawyer take care of it.
Narcissists are so good at manipulation that even judges, social workers, and therapists get confused. Hence, fighting with a narcissist comes with many difficulties and mental hassle. Therefore, to get the right guidance and stay in the winning race, hire an experienced lawyer.
From doing all the paperwork to representing your case in court, they will stay with you from the beginning to the end, taking the burden off your shoulder.
What is a deposition in a custody battle?
A deposition is a pre-trial questioning of a witness under oath in front of a court reporter. In a custody battle, a deposition may be used to gather information from a witness who is a parent or close associate of the narcissistic parent.
How can I prepare for a deposition in a custody battle?
It is important to thoroughly review any relevant documents and prepare a list of questions beforehand. It may also be helpful to practice answering questions with a family law attorney.
What are some common deposition questions for a narcissistic parent in a custody battle?
Some common deposition questions for a narcissistic parent may include questions about their behavior, parenting style, past actions, and interactions with the other parent and children.
How should I handle a narcissistic parent’s evasive or manipulative answers during a deposition?
It is important to remain calm and professional during the deposition. If the narcissistic parent is evasive or manipulative, it may be necessary to follow up with additional questions or ask for clarification. An attorney can provide guidance on how to handle these situations.
What evidence can I use in a deposition to support my case in a custody battle with a narcissistic parent?
Relevant evidence may include documents, witness statements, and photographs. It is important to work with a family law attorney to determine what evidence may be most helpful in your case.
Can a deposition be used as evidence in court in a custody battle?
Yes, a deposition can be used as evidence in court in a custody battle. It is important to keep in mind that the rules of evidence and admissibility vary by jurisdiction, and a family law attorney can provide guidance on what evidence may be admissible in your case.